CONFUSING TEXTS GUYS SEND AND HOW GIRLS SHOULD RESPOND MOSTLY

Since texting was invented, women everywhere have spent countless hours pouring over their phones with their girlfriends, attempting to decode, and analyze the confusing and frustrating text messages they’ve received from guys. No matter how many texts you’ve worked your way through, there will always be those messages that make you pause and exclaim, “What does he even mean by that?!” Lucky for you, we recruited those who know best to weigh in on the issue. With the help of some awesome relationship experts, we're here to decode some of the most common types of confusing text messages...

1. The Noncommittal Text

“I might be going.”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“I’ll let you know.”

Is he simply indecisive, or does he have you on the back burner?
What it means:

When a guy is evasive about what he’s doing later on, it usually isn’t because he has so many plans and just can’t decide—it’s you he can’t make his mind up about. According to Patrick Wanis, a human behaviour and relationship expert, “Often when someone hasn’t made up their mind, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re noncommittal; it really could imply something worse, such as, ‘I’m waiting for the bigger, better offer.’”
How to respond:

Why not try and make the non-committer commit? Try: “Let me know when you figure it out!” or even ask, “What else do you have going on tonight?” Assertive yes, but it’s the best way to coax a direct answer from the evasive texter. And if he still doesn’t give you a specific answer, don’t waste your time on him.

2. The Rain Check Text

“Sorry, can’t tonight.”
“Too much work to do.”
“Maybe next week?”

How much work could he possibly have? And if he were sincerely interested in you, would he really let it get in the way of seeing you?
What it means:

He really could have too much work to do, or he really could be out of town visiting his grandparents, or he really might be way too tired after work to see a movie. If we’ve learned anything about men, it’s that when a guy wants to see you, he will go well out of his way to ensure that it happens. So while not all hope is lost when a guy can’t keep a date, this type of message should make you wary.
How to respond:

According to Wanis, “The best way to respond to this is to say, ‘Okay, I’m available Wednesday or Thursday, which day [works for you]?’ What you’re doing is responding in a masculine manner by being direct and clear, and you’re now giving him an option.” If your guy is interested, he’ll willingly agree to make alternative plans and, this time, he’ll (hopefully) keep them.

3. The Flake-Out Text

“Sorry I missed your text!”

You texted. He didn’t reply. But now he’s apologizing for it. Is it sincere, or was his oversight intentional?
What it means:

With all the emails and texts and tweets and wall posts we’re flooded with on a daily basis, there is a chance your text escaped his notice. But if seeing your name on his phone doesn’t immediately grab his attention, chances are he doesn’t regard you as a top priority.

The fact that he acknowledged his lack of response shows that he does have some courtesy, but only enough to respond when it’s convenient for him. It’s more likely that, instead of truly missing your text, your guy was evading a conversation he didn’t feel like having at the time–or didn’t want to have altogether—and claimed to have “missed” your text as a handy excuse.
How to respond:

Play it cool. If he can’t make your conversation a priority, then make sure he knows that he’s not a priority of yours: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I forgot I even texted you!” Your flippancy might just make your guy step up his game (and pay better attention to his phone).

4. The One-Worded Text

“Cool.”
“Good.”
“K”

What does it mean when a guy has suddenly transformed into an inarticulate caveman?
What it means:

Wanis says there are three reasons a guy might send this type of message: “One, the guy is sincerely busy. Two, he’s stressed out. Three, he doesn’t really care that much.”

Just like with the rain check text message, your guy could be otherwise occupied. But if he were really into you, you’d probably be able to get a little more out of him than “sweet” when you tell him about your day, even if he’s in the middle of aGame of Thrones marathon.
How to respond:

Instead of trying to pull teeth to get your guy to talk, the best way to deal with this message is to take the hint. Wrap up the conversation and try him later when he’s a little less distracted and, with any luck, a little more talkative.

5. The Overly Complimentary Text

“You were definitely the most beautiful girl at the bar tonight.”
“You look unbelievably sexy when you’re working out.”
“That dress makes you look just like Beyoncé––but hotter.”

Beautiful, sexy, hotter than Beyoncé… How could this guy not be infatuated with you? Unless it’s all a bunch of BS from a practiced player. But how can you tell the difference?
What it means:

Whether sincere or not, two things are certain: this guy is very confident, and he’s very interested in you—it’s just a question of whether he’s interested in a relationship with you, or just a quick hook-up. “He could be really hot for you and not afraid to tell you,” says Lieberman. “Or he could just be trying to get you to go to bed with him as quickly as possible, and hopes that flattery will make you believe that he wants a relationship with you, not just a hook-up.”
How to respond:

Don’t let his flattery blind you. Respond with a playful quip, so your guy knows he can’t take you for a ride: “Oh, stop, I’m blushing,” or, “Oh yeah, nothing sexier than a girl sweating her face off on a treadmill.” Put that guy in his place and he’ll know in the future not to set off your BS detector.

6. The Delayed Text

You: [2:14 p.m.] “Hey, what are you up to?”

Him: [8:27 p.m.] “nm, just watching the game.”

You asked him how his week is going and he says that it’s going really well, thanks... five hours later. What’s with the time delay?
What it means:

He could be busy, he could be distracted, he could be at work or in class or on the moon. But more often than not, your guy is playing games. Taking his sweet time to respond to you is your guy’s way of telling you that he has better things to do, and that holding his end of the conversation is not his greatest concern. If your guy is really interested in you, he won’t leave you hanging in the middle of a conversation without an excuse.
How to respond:

It’s tempting to prompt a guy with a “Hello?” or “Are you there?” or the ever desperate “?????” but it’s best not to acknowledge the delay—if he’s not actually busy, that’s what he wants, after all. His not responding to one of your messages is far less humiliating than not responding to eight of them. Try not to play games; two people playing games can make for a conversation that gets absolutely nowhere fast.

7. The Booty-Call Text

[10:45 p.m.]“Yo. What’s up?”
[12:30 a.m.] “You back yet?”
[1:15 a.m.] “Let’s hang.”

Chances are, if any sort of text like this is sent after dark, he doesn’t want to know “what is up,” but rather if you’re “down” to hook up. You deserve better!
What it means:

If you’re looking for a relationship, the booty call guy is not the one to pursue. You probably shouldn’t hold your breath for this guy to take you out on a date.
How to respond:

The best way to express your disinterest in these types of texts? Silence.

8. The Unprompted Sext

“So, about that dress that made you look bangin’ like Beyoncé…”

“[Picture you would never want your parents to see]”

Do we even need to explain this one any further?
What it means:

Whether his sexual come-ons are a reflection of his attraction to you or a reflection of his horniness, your guy wouldn’t be sexting if he wanted a relationship. An interested guy will find another way to express his attraction you––and usually it’s a way that isn’t X-rated.
How to respond:

Just like the booty call, there’s no reason not to reciprocate if you’re not looking for anything serious. But if a relationship is what you want, and you want a boy who’s just as serious about being in one as you are, ignore these texts.

By HerCampus

নীল ছবি দেখার কুফল

পুরুষ তো বটেই, আজকাল মহিলাদেরও একটা অংশ নীল ছবি দেখে। গতবছর একটি সমীক্ষা থেকে এ কথা জানা গেছে। ফলে ব্লু ফিল্ম দেখা নিয়ে রাখঢাক করে লাভ নেই। বাস্তবটা মেনে নেওয়াই ভালো। তবে, এর কুফলও পড়তে শুরু করেছে। এবং সেটা যথেষ্ট উদ্বেগজনক। কী দেখে, কেন দেখে - এসব আলোচনা ছেড়ে সোজাসুজি একটা কথা বুঝে নেওয়া দরকার, আমাদের দেশে সেক্স-এডুকেশন বলে কিছু নেই। ভালোমন্দ বুঝে ওঠার আগেই অল্পবয়সী ছেলেমেয়েরা নীল ছবি দেখতে শুরু করছে। আর তার চেয়ে বড় চিন্তার বিষয়, দেখে দেখে সেটাকে অনুকরণ করার চেষ্টা করছে। শুধু অনুকরণই নয়, অনেকে আবার ছবি তুলে সংগ্রহ করে রাখছে নিজের কাছে। ফল যে কত মারাত্মক হতে পারে, তা চিন্তা না করেই। নীল ছবি দেখার আরও কুফল আছে। সেগুলো এক নজরে দেখে নেওয়া যাক।

১. মন নয়, শুধুই শরীর

- প্রেমের সম্পর্ক হারিয়ে যাচ্ছে। সবটাই শরীরসর্বস্ব হয়ে উঠছে। শরীরের খিদে মেটাতেই অপরের প্রতি আকর্ষণ তৈরি হচ্ছে। ফলে ভেঙেও যাচ্ছে খুব তাড়াতাড়ি। বিয়ের পর, অনেকক্ষেত্রেই যৌনতায় অতৃপ্তি তৈরি হচ্ছে। এবং শেষপর্যন্ত ছাড়াছাড়ি পর্যন্ত গড়াচ্ছে।

২. বিপরীত লিঙ্গের প্রতি অশ্রদ্ধা

- অধিকাংশ ক্ষেত্রেই পুরুষ (পড়ুন অশিক্ষিত পুরুষ) অশ্রদ্ধার চোখে দেখতে শুরু করছে মেয়েদের। ভাবছে নারী বোধহয় শুধুই ভোগ্যবস্তু। শুধু সহবাসের জন্য নারীর প্রয়োজন। সমাজে নারীর গুরুত্ব হারাচ্ছে। ফলে বাড়ছে ধর্ষণ, শ্লীলতাহানির মতো ঘটনা। যেদেশে অশিক্ষিতের সংখ্যা বেশি, সেখানে এর কুফলই বেশি আসবে, তাতে সন্দেহ কী। কারণ ভালোমন্দ বুঝে নেওয়ার ক্ষমতা এই অশিক্ষিত শ্রেণীর মধ্যে নেই। অথচ হাতে আছে CD, DVD, পেন-ড্রাইভ, ইন্টারনেট।

৩. সামাজিক মূল্যবোধ হারাচ্ছে

- সৃষ্টিশীলতা, সৃজনশীলতা ধ্বংস হচ্ছে। সারাক্ষণই যৌনতা ঘুরছে অল্পবয়সী, না বুঝে ওঠা ছেলেমেয়েদের মধ্যে। বাঁধন হারাচ্ছে সবকিছুর। সামাজিক মূল্যবোধ হারাচ্ছে। নারী হলেই হল। সম্পর্ক দেখছে না। ছাত্রী, পাড়াতুতো দিদি, বৌদি - বাদ যাচ্ছে না কিছুই। এমনকী রেহাই পাচ্ছে না ছোটো ছোটো শিশু। সবার দিকেই লোলুপ দৃষ্টি। সামাজিক অবনমন হয়েই চলেছে দিন কে দিন।

৪. অশ্রাব্য ভাষা ও ইঙ্গিত বাড়ছে

- ছোটো ছোটো ছেলেপিলে, নীল ছবি দেখে অভ্যস্ত হয়ে উঠছে। মহিলা দেখলেই অশ্রাব্য ভাষায় কথা বলছে। ইঙ্গিতপূর্ণ কথা বলছে। লজ্জা, শংকা, ভয়, ডর - কিছুই থাকছে না।

মনে করছে পৃথিবীর সবই হাতের মুঠোয়। (পড়ুন, সবাই হাতের মুঠোয়।)

৫. নীল ছবির যৌনতাকে বাস্তবায়িত করার চেষ্টা

- নীল ছবির রগরগে যৌনতাকে অনুকরণ করার চেষ্টা করছে। কখনও সেটা ভয়ংকর হয়ে দাঁড়াচ্ছে। নির্ভয়াকাণ্ডের মতো বিভৎস ঘটনার সংখ্যা দিনে দিনে বাড়ছে।

6 Things You Should Know About Having Sex During Your Period

Photo: Getty Images

Fans of 50 Shades of Grey will remember the much talked-about tampon scene—and while that particular rompwon’t be playing out on the big screen, it’s still been making headlines as buzz about the upcoming movie reaches a fever pitch. And it may make people wonder: Should I be having sex on my period? Is it safe? Will I like it? (And will my partner?)

We talked with Tara Ford, a physician assistant at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality in Purchase, New York, to get those answers and more.

Here’s what you should know about having sex during menstruation—the good, the bad, and the slightly messy.

Doctors say go for it

“If the patient is comfortable with it, then it’s great to continue having sex throughout the month and not have to take a break,” says Ford. “It’s perfectly natural and safe for both partners.”

To avoid stained sheets (her patients’ biggest concern), she recommends putting a towel down on the bed, or getting busy in the shower. And don’t be concerned if you see dark red or brown clumps during or after sex; that’s just older blood and cells of your uterine lining, and it’s perfectly normal.

You might like it—a lot

Arousal is different for every woman, and some may be too distracted by their period and its annoyances to actually get in the mood for sex. But for others, menstruation could actually be a turn-on of sorts. That’s because your estrogen and testosterone are low on day 1, but they start to rise by day 3. “Some women report they feel more aroused and more sensitive around this time,” says Ford says.

Plus, your flow can serve as extra lubrication during sex, which can also increase pleasure. If you typically use a store-bought lubricant to help with dryness during sex, this may be your week to go natural. And some research suggests that orgasms can even relieve menstrual cramping and PMS.

…And your partner might, too

Women shouldn’t assume their partner will be grossed out by their period. In fact, it’s often the person who’s menstruating who puts a stop to sex, not her other half, Ford says. Every couple is different, and some people will be more open to it than others. If you’re curious what your partner might think, however, don’t spring it on him or her in the heat of the moment—bring it up before things get hot and heavy. “Good communication can lead to great sex at any time during the month,” she says.

You can minimize the mess

Wearing a menstrual cup or a female condom can help reduce the amount of blood that might come out during intercourse, Ford says. If you’re not comfortable using one of them, even a regular condom can make cleanup easier—for your partner, at least. Having sex in the missionary position, with the woman on her back, can also limit blood flow (thanks, gravity!), as can having sex toward the end of your period, when your flow is lighter.

You’ve got options

If you’re not into intercourse during your period, there’s no reason you can’t still enjoy other sexual encounters (mess free!). “She can wear a tampon and the focus can be on the clitoris,” says Ford, and she can still help her partner orgasm with manual or oral stimulation.

Don’t forget protection

You can still get pregnant if you have sex while on your period. “Some periods last more than a week and sometimes a woman’s ovulation can overlap with menstruation,” says Ford; on top of that, sperm can live for 3 to 5 days. If you’re on birth control and taking it as directed (including during your placebo week), you should be fine—but if you aren’t, don’t chance it without another form of protection.

You’ll also need a form of barrier protection if you don’t know your partner’s STD status. Because the cervix is more open during this time of month (which allows the blood to pass), you have a slightly higher risk of infection from exposure to a sexually transmitted disease during unprotected sex, Ford says.