Ejaculation Mastery

A major tenet in Tantric beliefs is the importance of ejaculation mastery. Many ancient gurus believed ejaculation was a waste of vital life energy, so men were taught to condition themselves to preserve their seminal fluid and to release it as infrequently as possible. This was because of the great drain on physical energy and vital force when a man ejaculates. It was also believed that men should instead use that energy as fuel for awakening the higher chakra centers and thus to move on to enlightenment.

As a result, traditional Tantric men became experts at controlling (and avoiding) ejaculation. Sometimes this involved considerable effort or complicated processes. One Tantric text describes a specific elaborate pattern of strokes of movements that, if the man followed them exactly, were said to prevent him from reaching a level of excitement that would allow ejaculation to occur. Other techniques were extremely simple, such as pressing the tongue against the roof of the mouth.

Men would also delay orgasm in order to prolong the sexual union until they were certain they had pleased their goddess (satisfied their female partner). It was also commonly believed that keeping his penis inside the woman for as long as possible without ejaculating enabled the man to absorb some of the woman's vital life juices and powerful energy.

Today, there is some division on the importance of ejaculation (or avoidance of ejaculation). Some still believe it is important to completely avoid ejaculation, while others disagree. Men understand that they are not going to “run out” of seminal fluid. However, it is still considered important to delay the orgasm as long as possible, in order to allow for a long, satisfying sexual encounter.

The easiest and most common way to avoid ejaculation is simply the start-and-stop technique. Just like it sounds, with this technique the man participates in sex as usual, until he gets to the point where he feels he is about to ejaculate. He then stops completely, and perhaps even squeezes or puts pressure on his penis to help the urge to ejaculate subside a bit. Once the urge to ejaculate has receded somewhat, the man can then proceed with the lovemaking process. He can continue with this start/stop pattern until he is ready to ejaculate (or if it becomes uncomfortable), at which point he should allow himself the release.

Other techniques that are said to sometimes help in delaying a man's orgasm include pressing on the perineum (spot between scrotum and anus) or pulling gently on the testicle right before orgasm is about to occur. Both of these techniques should be performed carefully and gently, to avoid pain or injury.

Source: About.com

What Is Premature?

For years, sex therapists, researchers, and physicians have debated what should be the medical definition of premature ejaculation. There is still no worldwide agreement on one definition of what premature means in the context of ejaculation. Having one might help one day. But in the meantime, if you’re trying to figure out what premature means to you or to your partner, you can start by coming up with your own definition of premature.

Premature for What?

Most of us don’t talk about sex enough with our partners or healthcare providers. If we think there is a problem, we often want to skip the part where we talk about it, try to describe it, and work on it ourselves. It can seem much easier (and less anxiety provoking) to wait for a pill and hope our doctor will be as uncomfortable as we are and just write a prescription. One of the many problems with this approach is that we never define the problem for ourselves.

In the case of premature ejaculation, the question becomes, "Premature for what? What is it that you’re missing by ejaculating when you do?" Another way to ask this question is, "What is the goal of the sex you’re having?" If the goal is for everyone involved to have an orgasm, this can be accomplished even if one of you ejaculates first (when you think about it, someone almost always comes first). If the goal is to have a female orgasm from intercourse, then you need to know that a) most women don’t orgasm from intercourse, and b) you can do other things to increase the chances of having an orgasm through intercourse. The point is that most people assume they know the goal of every sexual encounter without ever asking themselves what they want from it. For example, is it possible that your ejaculation is “premature” because you have nothing else to look forward to?

What Is Premature for You?

You need to start by deciding how you are comfortable defining premature. Is it based on time (such as it’s premature if you ejaculate before 5 to 10 minutes of intercourse)? Is it based on satisfaction (such as it’s premature if you ejaculate before your partner has an orgasm)? Is it a problem if it happens once in a while versus happening all the time? It’s hard not to feel pressure from partners and the culture around us which says that a man should have complete control over his penis and be able to ejaculate when and where he wants. But it’s worth trying to think about how you feel and what you desire, as opposed to what you think others expect and want from your ejaculation abilities.

Does a Partner Have a Right to Define Premature?

If you’re in a committed relationship with someone you care about, consider and account for how your partner experiences your sexual activities. But if one of you thinks you’re premature and the other doesn’t, it’s a sign that there is a problem with communication and expectations, not ejaculation. So if you’re happy with when you ejaculate but your partner considers it premature, it is worth asking him why. Does he take your ejaculation timing as a sign of something? Is he comparing you to previous sexual experiences (this is a hard one to hear, but the bottom line is that if he can’t have sex with you in the present, without comparing the sex to previous experiences, something probably needs to be worked out on his end)? Having your partner define your ejaculation as premature can be painful, and it can feel like he doesn’t have a right to do it. Whether it’s his place to label the ejaculation as premature or not, once it’s out there, you’ve got to deal with it.

Times Change, So Can a Definition of Premature

If you’re struggling with premature ejaculation, one of the first things a doctor or therapist will ask is how long it’s been going on. He’ll also want to know how often it happens and if there have been other times in your life when you’ve felt you were premature ejaculating. For some men, premature ejaculation is constant. For many others, it comes and goes. I’d like to suggest that how you define premature can also change over time. What is premature in one sexual encounter might actually be way too long in another. This doesn’t make it any better. But the idea of premature ejaculation can seem so scary and monolithic that it’s important to remember that, in fact, it can be highly dependent on context.

Source: About.com

Why does he ejaculate too quickly?

Question: Why does he ejaculate too quickly?

“I’m a 37 year old woman who has just started a relationship with a much younger guy. He’s super hot, and I love his body, and most of the sex is good, but he cums way too quickly. He knows it, and we’ve finally talked about it, but I don’t know how to help him with it. Most of my boyfriends haven’t had this problem, but some have. How can he learn to last longer, and how come guys don’t just learn to control ejaculation?

Answer:

Even though premature ejaculation is considered the most common sexual dysfunction for men, the fact is we still don’t know what causes premature ejaculation. It is likely the result of many factors. And many people are misinformed as to what premature ejaculation actually is. The good news is that there are several ways to learn to control ejaculation.

In terms of the why guys don’t just “naturally” learn to control ejaculation, there’s probably several reasons.

Evolutionary psychologists would say that the goal of sex is procreation and therefore there’s no reason to prolong it. And it's true that we may be the first animals to want to prolong erections to prolong penetrative sex play (even though we aren’t the only animals to like having sex, or to make it a creative act). Not that I'm suggesting we listen to the evolutionary psychologists on this one.

A more simple answer is that no one teaches young men to control ejaculation. Children are taught to learn the signs of other reflexes. We teach them how to control urination for example. But when it comes to teaching young men ejaculatory control, I don’t think you’ll find it in even the most progressive sexual health curriculums.

Another possibility is that most men’s earliest sexual experiences are with masturbation (or even partner sex) done secretly and quickly, for fear of discovery. It is thought that these early experiences may condition some men’s sexual response to a pattern of rapid ejaculation.

Source: About.com

Premature Ejaculation Remedy

First of all, you’ll be advised to do sex therapy. If sex therapy does not work, then do the other way by using drugs. Drugs to overcome premature ejaculation are an efficacious drug to control ejaculation. There are several types of drugs that can control ejaculation depends on the cause. Because the cause is much related to the function of serotonin, we need drugs that regulate serotonin function.

 Furthermore, Drugs for example, class SSRIs (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). However, considering the side effects, you had better not get it with no doctor prescription."

 Because these drugs have side effects, its use should be under medical supervision.

As explained above, there are medications to control ejaculation. If premature ejaculation is caused by erection problems, then by improving erectile function, ejaculation can be inhibited. So erectile dysfunction drug is useful if premature ejaculation is caused by erection problems.

Another way of treatment is by an nerve operations procedure to control the occurrence of ejaculation. But this way, though ever carried out in certain countries, until now it was not popular and not widely used.

As for supplements, many claim to be able to cure premature ejaculation but without any clinical test results. So if you want to try any supplements, make sure the supplements are equipped with evidence based clinical trials.

Premature Ejaculation and Infertility

There’s wrong perception that a man with premature ejaculation is not able to have a baby because he’s infertile.

Premature ejaculation is often regarded as a disorder of fertility, but not so. Premature ejaculation is considered as dilute sperm, but it is not clear what was meant by the term "dilute"

Premature ejaculation has nothing to do with fertility. So the pregnancy can occur as long as there is sperm gets into the vagina. But in severe premature ejaculation, the ejaculation occurs outside the vagina, pregnancy does not occur
If there is a man who has premature ejaculation also has disruption of sperm, it means there are two separate disorders.

Impaired sperm can be caused by many things, i.e the infection of testicles or other reproductive system, testosterone deficiency, dilation of blood vessel walls around the testicles, and vitamin deficiency.

Effect of premature ejaculation

couples are not in harmony
Whether severe or mild, premature ejaculation would cause sexual intercourse not in harmony. In premature ejaculation, the disharmony even cause dissatisfaction on both sides. Men with premature ejaculation are not satisfied because the sexual intercourse lasted very short time.

Although he's able to achieve orgasm, men with premature ejaculation also feel very disappointed for not being able to give sexual satisfaction to her partner. Especially if their partner expresses the disappointment by blaming the patient.

"Men with premature ejaculation is often stressed, insecure, inferior, and ashamed of her partner. if this condition lasts for long time, it will lead to erectile dysfunction. the couple certainly feel disappointed, dissatisfied, annoyed, angry, and finally experiencing sexual dysfunction such as loss of sexual desire," Prof. Wimpie Pangkahila explained.

Furthermore, they’re feeling afraid or worried every time they have sex. This feeling will only further exacerbate the state of premature ejaculation. If this situation continues, eventually he might have erectile dysfunction.

Women whose couple has premature ejaculation generally cannot achieve orgasm because of immediate sexual intercourse. Disappointment that arise can be turned into annoyance and fear every time they have sex. Further result could be loss of sexual drive and dyspareunia (pain that happens during intercourse).

Premature Ejaculation Level

Premature ejaculation is categorized in different level. It can be divided into three types based on severity, ie mild premature ejaculation, moderate premature ejaculation, and severe premature ejaculation.

Level of Premature Ejaculation


Light Ejaculation occurs after several short friction.

Medium Ejaculation occurs after the penis gets into the vagina.

Severe Ejaculation occurs as soon as the penis touches the outer female genitals. OR 
Ejaculation occurs before the penis touches the outer female genitals.

Whatever type of premature ejaculation experienced, both men and women will feel dissatisfied because the ejaculation occurred within a very short time which means that the sexual intercourse must end.

Premature Ejaculation

Each couple (couples) would settle down-stairs life crave an active and harmonious. However, sexual intercourse is an earthly paradise that can be run by married couples as well as one expression of love mate.

However, do not always go according to sexual preference. There are times when her husband exposed the problem of sexual dysfunction such as arousal disorder, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and other.

According to Prof. DR. Dr. Wimpie Pangkahila, Sp. And, a medical expert and Sexology Andrology, "sexual health problems often experienced by men is sexual dysfunction and sexually transmitted diseases. Sexual dysfunction often is premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction."

Premature ejaculation is very common. Recent studies show that 1 in 3 sexually active men (33%) suffering from premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation can occur in men in all ages, although more common in young men with various backgrounds of life.

Sexual harassment is also befall Mr S. Mr. S (29) have been married for a year with his wife (28). Since a year ago, Mr. S suffered sexual problems of premature ejaculation. It is known in the first month of marriage. Mr. S admitted the difficulties in having sex because sperm 'trigger' exit.

The problem of sexual dysfunction for men is a terrible scourge. Which man would say no "mighty"? If the problem occurs not addressed could result in disruption of domestic harmony. Remember the saying goes, "Sex is not everything, but without sex, everything will from be nothing."

University Of Alberta Researcher Offers Promising Treatment For Premature Ejaculation

A University of Alberta researcher has discovered a potential breakthrough for premature ejaculation--the most common sexual dysfunction in men--with a drug usually used to treat bi-polar or anxiety disorder.

Dr. Pierre Chue, a psychiatry professor at the U of A, has found success in treating premature ejaculation (PE) with the use of gabapentin, better known by the brand name Neurontin. Chue writes about his findings in the September issue of the "Canadian Journal of Psychiatry."

"This disorder affects almost 40 per cent of males--it is even more common than erectile dysfunction--yet it is not talked about much and there has been very little research on it," said Chue.

The essential feature of the disorder is persistent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before or shortly after penetration and before the person wishes it. PE is believed to be a neurobiological phenomenon involving primarily a disturbance of serotonin receptor function. Currently, physicians prescribe medications that are known to influence these receptors--selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs--that delay ejaculation but these antidepressants also come with negative side-effects..

In his report, Chue cites a case study in which a 40-year-old man diagnosed with PE received minimal effectiveness from different techniques--the use of a condom with topical anesthetic and different antidepressant drugs--aimed to improve the disorder. The drugs resulted in such side effects as restless legs, headaches, decreased libido or accelerated ejaculation. The man "had previously found that alcohol produced satisfactory ejaculatory delay with no loss of erectile capacity, but clearly this was not a feasible regular option," says Chue. A trial of gabapentin taken one to two hours before intercourse proved effective. Higher doses prolonged ejaculation even further but also caused drowsiness.

Dr. Chue is not certain how gabapentin works to improve PE but believes it has to do with the drug's ability to increase aminobutyric acid (GABA), the most important inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain. Since there are currently no specific treatments for PE, the use of gabepentin to prolong ejaculation warrants further study, says Chue, particularly for those men where other therapies are ineffective or poorly tolerated.

Meanwhile, Chue is looking for people to participate in a clinical trial he is running that will use an SSRI-type drug called dapoxetine, to learn its effects on men with PE. This is an SSRI with a very short half-life that has been shown in clinical trials to delay ejaculation without the usual SSRI side effects.

Source: Science Daily

Premature Ejaculation May Be A Genetic Disorder

Premature ejaculation can be embarrassing, but a new study suggests that it might be a genetic disorder.

Researchers from Turku, Finland, interviewed more than three thousand men - all pairs of male twins and their older or younger brothers - about the first time they had sex. Many participants in the study reported that they had suffered from erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation at their first sexual encounter.

These common problems are often attributed to external factors, such as intoxication or nervousness due to peer pressure. This research confirms that such factors do cause erectile dysfunction. On the other hand, premature ejaculation appears to be strongly linked to genetic factors, and is not just psychological.

In an earlier study, researchers in The Netherlands linked premature ejaculation to a gene for serotonin regulation in a group of two hundred men. The new data from Finland independently show a genetic link to premature ejaculation in a much larger group, and rule out environmental factors.

Faculty of 1000 Medicine member David Goldmeier notes that the increasing evidence for a genetic cause of premature ejaculation opens the way for the development of new drug treatments - something that many men might benefit from. However, both Goldmeier and reviewer Taylor Segraves emphasize that drug therapy is not the only solution: psychotherapy will continue to be a valuable and useful form of treatment for sexual dysfunctions - even those with a genetic cause.

The study by Pekka Santtila, Kenneth Sandnabba and Patrick Jern was published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy in March 2009.

Source: Science Daily

Premature Ejaculation: It's Not All In Your Head

In a four-week study of 1,587 men, researchers report that men who suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) had an average intravaginal ejaculatory latency time (IELT) of 1.8 minutes, compared to 7.3 minutes in men who did not. Men with PE and their female partners also had higher ratings for personal distress, interpersonal difficulty with their partner, lack of ejaculation control, and dissatisfaction with sexual intercourse.

This scientific study, appearing in the May issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine, is the first large epidemiologic study to define patient populations of those with (207) and without (1380) premature ejaculation by measuring average times to ejaculation with stopwatches. This average, or IELT, is defined as the time between the start of vaginal intromission and the start of intravaginal ejaculation.

This study is also one of the first data sets to address the concerns of female partners. Both members of the couples studied were asked to report on a variety of subjective factors. Significant overlap in IELT was observed between the groups who suffered from PE and those without. Thus, the study data suggest IELT may not be sufficient to diagnose PE, and that subjective factors, like lack of control, may also be valid indicators.

"Most people think uni-dimensionally about PE in terms of considering it a disorder of time," states Stanley E. Althof, Ph.D., corresponding author of the study. "This article demonstrates that subjective factors like sense of control, distress, and sexual satisfaction need to be considered when treating this highly prevalent disorder."

PE is the most common male sexual dysfunction affecting men and their partners. However, available data suggest that only 1-12% of males self-reporting receive treatment for their dysfunction. According to The Journal of Sexual Medicine editor Irwin Goldstein, most physicians do not inquire about the existence of premature ejaculation when the patient has other sexual complaints or when the partner has orgasmic dysfunction. As seen in this study, premature ejaculation adversely affects sexual satisfaction, and partner distress is a common motivation for afflicted men to seek treatment.

Source: Science Daily

Premature Ejaculation

Defined as ejaculating before either partner achieves satisfaction, premature ejaculation is one of the most common complaints affecting most men from time to time. It often occurs early in relationships when sexual excitement, some anxiety and over stimulation are common features. It is also more common in younger men who are finding out about sexual activity and sexual relationships and men of all ages after a long period without sex. Premature ejaculation is rarely caused by any underlying disease, structural or physical problems.

Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety may be the major cause and talking to your sexual partner about your feelings may well help. Remember it is a common experience for men and women. Relax more and the problem often goes away.

Techniques to Prevent Premature Ejaculation

Self Distraction to prevent premature ejaculation

If your arousal levels are getting too high and a climax is beginning, take a deep breath and think about something else, something very boring if possible. When you are less aroused but maintaining an erection you can then continue.

Stop and Start Method for premature ejaculation

If you find yourself nearing climax withdraw your penis from your partner and allow yourself to relax enough to prevent ejaculation. By starting and stopping sexual stimulation you can learn to prolong the sex act.

Squeeze Methods can help prevent premature ejaculation

This method involves either the man or his partner squeezing (fairly firmly) the end or the tip of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds when ejaculation is imminent, withholding stimulation for about 30 seconds, then continuing stimulation. This can be repeated until ejaculation is desired. The stop and start method can be used with the squeeze method as well.

Desensitizing Creams for premature ejaculation

Creams can be used to desensitize the end of the penis. They act like a local or tropical anesthetic. Thicker condoms (or two condoms) can also desensitize by decreasing sensitivity and therefore stimulation, thus prolonging the sexual act.

More Foreplay prevents premature ejaculation

Stimulate your partner to a state of high arousal before you have your genitals touched, that way ejaculation and orgasm can be achieved about the same time.

Masturbation to prevent premature ejaculation

Practice different methods by yourself. Getting to know your feelings and sensations gives you the chance to gain confidence.

Remember getting good at sex and overcoming premature ejaculation can take a bit of time. Practice makes perfect. If you find that things are not improving then help is available from sex therapists who are experts in this field.

Source: About.com

Psychological Treatments for Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation, sometimes known as rapid ejaculation, is the occurrence of ejaculation prior to the wishes of both sexual partners. The cause, or causes, are not fully understood. Explanations for premature ejaculation range from the purely biological to the purely psychological, with yet others suggesting a more complex relationship between biology and psychology. Psychological factors, however, are known to worsen or precipitate premature ejaculation which is why treatment may involve psychological therapies.

Psychological Effects of Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation can decrease self-confidence, make men reluctant to start new relationships, or lead to concerns that a partner may seek a relationship with another man. Within a relationship, men may feel misunderstood as to the extent of frustration and humiliation they regularly experience. Partners may suffer in silence for fear of upsetting their man further, or become frustrated at the apparent unwillingness of the man to fix the problem.

Benefits of Psychotherapy for Premature Ejaculation

Stanley E. Althof, Ph.D., from the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida, has analyzed the strengths and limitations of different psychological interventions for premature ejaculation. He feels that psychotherapy alone is best for men or couples where the problem is clearly psychological, for example, depression or performance anxiety. For single men not in relationships, individual psychotherapy may help to address men's reluctance to enter into relationships. For men in relationships, individual psychotherapy may help when the dysfunction appears to be rooted in childhood issues or excessive fear or hostility to women. For couples, combined psychotherapy may help where both partners are motivated to seek treatment and where the various factors involved in premature ejaculation can be explored.

Individual psychotherapy may be exploratory by examining the developmental underpinnings of reluctance to enter into relationships, and fear or hostility toward women. It can also be behavioral, in which specific techniques around learning control around ejaculation, improved attention to arousal, and anxiety management can be learned.

Couples therapy can have similar emphases, either exploratory, looking into issues in the relationship that contribute to sexual issues and premature ejaculation, or it may be behavioral, examining specific techniques around ejaculatory control and arousal that are worked on directly with the couple together (“sex therapy”).

Combining medications with psychological therapies may, according to Dr. Althof, offer the best of both worlds. The effect of certain medications to delay ejaculation can help to build confidence before psychological therapies are used. In time, the man can be taught not to fear his arousal and to attend to other sensations. Once achieved, many men can be weaned off medication completely.

Current approaches to psychotherapy emphasize control of ejaculation by learning new techniques, gaining confidence, lessening anxiety and learning better communication.

Do Psychological Therapies Work?

Sex therapy studies tend to be small and uncontrolled. This sits somewhat uncomfortably when compared with evidence-based medical research involving large, randomized controlled studies. The high success rates of bigger sex studies conducted by Masters and Johnson (1970) have never been replicated in subsequent studies. All studies with long-term follow up report a tendency for men to suffer some degree of relapse by as much as 75 percent, although sexual satisfaction overall appears relatively good.

On balance, Dr. Althof believes that psychological treatments have relevance for both men and couples, whether or not traditional psychotherapy is used alongside medicines. The results, he believes, point to an overall improvement in sexual and relationship satisfaction.

Source: About.com